The Covenant of Marriage

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The day has finally come for the bride and groom to walk down the aisle and begin their new life together as man and wife. Help make their special day even more memorable with a personalized wedding gift from Abide Family Blessings.  Our Abide Wedding Glasses serve as keepsakes and have scripture verses on each glass.  The Abide Wedding Glasses are beautiful and uniquely designed, the scripture verse will remind the couple to put their trust in God.  Our Abide Mr. & Mrs. Wedding glasses are the perfect gift! I happen to love them. The glasses make a statement about your faith, are uniquely designed, inexpensive, and personal. My belief is that God wants everyone to be happy in their marriage.

ABIDE Marriage Glasses

A good marriage has three components–selflessness, forgiveness and communication.  The first component of a blessed and healthy marriage is selflessness. We live in a self-centered world, and this focus on self is destroying marriages. The concept of “looking out for number one” is creating division between husbands and wives. But Paul tells us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). Immaturity and selfishness tell us to focus on our own desires, comfort, and self-protection, but maturity leads us to focus on other’s needs.  Maturity is a key to selflessness.

The first component is understanding Selflessness.  Selfless love manifests itself in graciousness. It focuses on the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and needs.  In marriage, the focus is on our spouse’s needs.  A selfless love makes sacrifices without keeping a running tally of who has contributed the most in the marriage. It puts aside selfish stubbornness for a willingness to yield to each other.  While selflessness goes against many of the world’s teachings about personal ambition, self-importance, and self-protection, selfless love is a critical component to a healthy marriage.

The second component of a blessed and healthy marriage is Forgiveness. Sometimes forgiveness is hard, especially when we allow little annoyances to build up over time. But the Bible tells us, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).

In Matthew 18:22, Jesus told Peter that we are to forgive each other not merely seven times, but seven times seventy. In other words, we are to forgive so often that we lose count.  First, forgiving the things which seem insignificant—the irritating habits and the annoying characteristics. These can build up over time and can destroy a marriage. Forgiving will require daily discipline.

Also, “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). You will find it harder to forgive others if your own mind is waging a battle against old hurts. Focus on Christ in your relationship, not on keeping score.

The Third, maintain your identity in Christ. Our old sinful nature is filled with resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness. But through Christ, we are able to offer mercy and forgiveness to those who have wronged us.

The ongoing problems of selfishness and unforgiveness may seem apparent in a relationship, however there are also enemies that stealthily creep into a marriage like a choking vine. Busy schedules, apathy, and even exhaustion can lead to a deadly trap, or breakdown of communication. The component to a healthy and blessed marriage is communication. When communication breaks down between husband and wife, Satan is always waiting in the wings. Then what often takes place is a power struggle, the silent treatment and deception.  Inevitably, there will be conflict in your marriage, but keeping the lines of communication open will provide the opportunity to resolve the conflict rather than allowing it to take root. The ultimate outcome is a growing and thriving relationship.

Maintaining all three components in a marriage is not easy. We will always be competing against our sinful, selfish nature. We will always be seeking God’s strength to forgive. We will often struggle to find balance between our calendars and our marriage. But, if you keep Christ at the center of your marriage and allow Him to lead us, your marriage will be a blessed and healthy marriage.

Ask God to show you how to help keep love at the center of your marriage and to be on guard against selfishness, to be quick to forgive, and to be vigilant to communicate today.